If someone you know or a loved one has cancer, most likely you are eager to do something for them to bring them some happiness, help them, or reduce their stress. Although flowers and cards are always nice to give, sometimes the most helpful and appreciated gestures involve a helping hand with everyday activities that are usually taken for granted. While it’s important to always ask the person first in order to make sure your good intentions will be welcomed, there are many thoughtful ways to show someone with cancer that you care and want to help.

Chores and responsibilities can be exhausting for anyone, but for someone dealing with the stress and effects of cancer and its treatment, these duties can be overwhelming. Here are some ways you can pitch in to help ease some of the burden on your loved one:

Daily Household Chores

• Help with housecleaning
• Change the sheets
• Take care of laundry (wash, fold, and put away)
• Empty and take out trash in time for weekly garbage collection
• Shop for groceries
  • Stock cabinets, refrigerator, and freezer with prepared foods that require little preparation
  • Buy juices, fruits, and fresh vegetables
• Take care of pets (walk dog, clean litter box, clean aquariums and cages, buy pet food, take animals to vet appointments)
• Take care of houseplants
• Gather mail
• Drop off/pick up dry cleaning
• Check in periodically to see if any essentials are needed, such as milk, eggs, bread, feminine care products, tissues, toilet paper, deodorant, soap, shampoo, and toothpaste

Household Care and Maintenance

• Plant flowers
• Mow lawn/rake leaves/weed yard
• Shovel snow
• Offer to take care of any automobile maintenance (inspection, oil change, gas, car wash)
• Take care of any minor household repairs or maintenance you are capable of performing (replacing batteries in smoke/carbon monoxide detectors, light bulbs, filters in heating/air conditioning system) or offer to be there when work people arrive

Holiday, Occasion, and Seasonal Help

• Help get, put up, and take down holiday decorations
• Be aware of holidays or occasions (birthdays, weddings, anniversaries) that mean something to the person and offer your services (pick up a gift, cook something for party, buy and mail cards)
• Help them shop online for gifts

Thoughtful gestures are always a pleasant and uplifting surprise, and there are several things you can offer to do for your loved one to bring them some comfort and even enjoyment:

• Take them to beauty salon or barbershop
• Treat them to lunch or a movie
• Read to them or bring over a DVD
• Take them out for a drive, to the park, or a short walk
• Cook a favorite food or bake a treat
• Give note cards so that the person can write to friends
• Collect email addresses for them
• Send inspirational cards on a regular basis
• Assemble a photo album or scrap book
• Make a CD or save music to a thumb drive
• Leave voicemails or emails (it often helps to mention that you don’t expect a response but wanted to let them know you were thinking of them, that way they don’t feel pressured to respond if they are not up to it)
• Keep a picture or video chronicle of them through their treatment (if they are agreeable) 

People who have cancer often need someone to drive them to doctor and therapy appointments, and many appreciate having someone stay with them and keep them company during treatments. Other ways you can provide support to your loved one during treatment include: 

• Refill and pick up medications
• Offer to provide transportation to appointments, errands, and events
• Follow-up with them after their appointments with a call, and wish them good luck before they go
• Offer to do research for them on their cancer, treatment, health- and nutrition-related issues (dietary supplements, best foods, lifestyle modifications), and cancer care team, or to help with insurance issues that may arise

Cancer treatment can often be expensive, leaving patients with the challenge of having little financial resources to take care of some of their other responsibilities. There are several things you can offer to do to help relieve some financial stress:

• Pay some bills
• Buy stamps
• Research and contact a financial planner
• Research ways to help the patient pay for treatment
• Organize a fund raiser

If you do not live close enough or you have other obligations that prevent you from being able to offer your services, you can still provide support through phone calls, cards, and gifts. Some nice gift ideas for friends or loved ones with cancer include:

• Flowers
• Gift baskets
• MP3 player
• Money/gift cards
• Books, magazines, puzzle books
• A warm throw, slippers, cozy socks
• iTunes or eBooks credits
• Perfume, lotions, makeup
• Pajamas
• Gift certificate for massage, if appropriate (some people who have cancer are unable to get a massage because of the location of the cancer or site of surgery, or as a result of symptoms or side effects they may be experiencing)

However, knowing one is not alone during a difficult time is often the best gift of all.